You bury your treasure
Where it can't be found
But your love is like a secret
That's been passed around
There is a silence that comes to a house
Where no one can sleep
I guess it's the price of love
I know it's not cheap

(oh, come on)
Baby, baby, baby...light my way
(oh, come on)
Baby, baby, baby...light my way

i've been looking sideways, always keeping an eye if you're doing fine, hoping the world will embrace you, filling a void we both know is not meant for me.

in time, i will slowly find my own, i will approach the things that only a few years ago seemed impossible to touch.

whatever shape or form this friendship takes in future, I am only grateful for your presence, your incredible energy and for all the experiences we have shared together. 

and so, even if unspoken, i hope you know - how much I hope life will be kind to you, that in time things will come full circle and you will inspire many with your story.

"Were I to choose an auspicious image for the new millennium, I would choose that one: the sudden agile leap of the poet-philosopher who raises himself above the weight of the world, showing that with all his gravity he has the secret of lightness, and that what many consider to be the vitality of the times, noisy, aggressive, revving and roaring, belongs to the realm of death, like a cemetery for rusty old cars." - Italo Calvino, Six Memos for the New Millenium

i will gather this goodwill and channel it to you. 

it's important to find yourself in a sentence. and lately, it's not been easy... perhaps our inner lives are not as accessible, focused as we are on our face and place in the world. but also I think that we've been growing with people who are teaching us to be grounded, who've called us to step up to the challenges of mastering who we are as individuals on this earth. a necessary balance, you could say, to the indulgences of youth.

"... an ongoing lesson which teaches one when to give, and when not to, and when giving, what to give and when not giving, why they should not give. one can also realize by appearing not to give in certain situations, one is actually practising a form of supreme giving. in other words, in certain conditions, one must learn to withhold giving to others."

my, it's been a while... this has got to be my most anti-social year yet.

i've really indulged my loner-self in 2010, stripped everything down and led a quiet life. perhaps to channel my energy to staying focused and letting certain processes play out, perhaps due to a chain of events that led me to such a lifestyle. whatever it is, i'm probably ready to get out of this groove pretty sooon..

am gonna start by super-pampering myself when some money comes in. ka-ching!

despite the difficult moments, life has been immeasurably kind. while you can't control what scenery life brings you, as long as things around are changing and happening, you're definitely on the path.

"The problem is all inside your head", she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover

- 50 ways to leave your lover, Paul Simon

exhausted... on days when there are too many problems to solve, or when lack of time = lack of understanding. how does one walk this tightrope of demands vs personal space?

not one to unload when the going gets tough... i just want to play again, be ridiculous or sink into some place warm.

if empathy is step one, detachment is step two... what's next?